Olga (name changed) is a tattoo artist and the mother of two young children, Luca and Tea (names changed).
“If you are unhappy where you are, don’t be afraid of change,” says Olga, looking back on her own experience.
In her free time, Olga chooses to spend time with her children. “I am an artist, and I do a lot of drawing at work, so when I have free time, I simply want to spend it with my children,” she says. Whenever she has the opportunity, she travels and discovers new places.
Olga is an active, independent woman who is used to building her own path in life. Over time, however, she began to lose touch with the things that made her feel like herself. When she talks about her relationship with her former husband, she recalls how, over the years, certain behaviours became increasingly oppressive and eventually turned into a form of psychological violence.
“Looking back, I realize that my relationship with him was a classic form of psychological violence.” Devaluation, criticism and insults became part of her everyday life. “I would hear things like: ‘You are ugly,’ ‘You are too thin,’ ‘You are a bad wife,’ ‘You are a bad housewife,’ ‘There is something wrong with your head.’ It wasn’t something that happened all at once, but gradually, year after year, until it became impossible not to recognize that this was a form of violence.”
After almost 10 years together, Olga and her former husband decided to divorce. The divorce was by mutual agreement and took place calmly.
Some time after the divorce, Olga entered into another relationship, this time with a woman. During that period, her former husband forcefully re-entered her life. He began sending increasingly frequent and aggressive messages, filled with accusations and threats concerning the children and her future.
“He told me that he would go to the child protection authorities and tell them who I was living with, and that they would take my children away. He threatened to demand a division of our property and said that I would be left without a home.”
Olga felt that she was being followed and intimidated, and that she was being pulled back, against her will, into the relationship she had left behind. The daily pressure, repeated messages and conflicts became increasingly difficult to bear.
“I cried every day. I cried out of anger, helplessness and fear.”
During that period, Olga realized that she needed help, but she did not know what steps she could take to protect her rights and her children.
Before reaching out to the Ophelia Centre, Olga admits: “I was afraid that I would be judged or pitied.” After her first conversation with the Ophelia Centre team, “I felt understood,” she adds.
The Ophelia Centre provided her with free legal assistance.
From that moment on, things began to change. She received support from a lawyer who represented her in court and helped her obtain a protection order. With the protection order in place, Olga was finally able to establish clear boundaries in her relationship with her former husband. Today, she no longer has direct contact with him, while the children are transported for visits with their father by a trusted person, according to the established schedule.
“I was overwhelmed with joy when I received the document. I felt protected,” says Olga.
“Before reaching out to the Ophelia Centre, I felt that my basic sense of safety had been taken away from me. I was living under immense pressure, surrounded by constant conflict and tension, and this was affecting my well-being, my work and my relationship with my children.
With the legal support provided by the Ophelia Centre and after obtaining the protection order, the pressure and fear decreased. There is now more peace in our family. The children have a clearer routine when it comes to seeing their father, and this gives them greater stability.”
Olga says that she discovered qualities within herself that she did not know she had: resilience and the ability to make firm decisions when necessary. She also managed to let go of the feelings of guilt that had accompanied her for a long time.
At the end of her story, Olga has a message for women going through similar situations: do not be afraid to choose for yourselves and to ask for help when you need it.
“No one should have to live believing that they just have to endure, and that things will eventually change. Every woman has the right to choose how she lives her own life. You have the right to be happy, to be protected and to live in safety.”
Today, Olga continues her work as a tattoo artist, raises her children in a more peaceful environment and looks to the future with greater confidence. Her story shows that the right support, provided at the right time, can make the difference between fear and safety.
How we were able to support Olga
The free legal assistance provided to Olga by the Ophelia Centre, including legal consultations and court representation, is offered within the project “Strengthening Women’s Leadership for Resilient and Peaceful Societies,” funded by the Government of Denmark and implemented by UN Women Moldova in partnership with three organizations specializing in the protection of women’s rights, including the Ophelia Centre.
Since the launch of the project to date, 23 beneficiaries of the Ophelia Centre have received free legal assistance and support in divorce proceedings, determining children’s residence, securing child support payments, and obtaining protection orders.
We can help you
If you are experiencing violence, call the Ophelia Centre Helpline at +373 79 12 00 12 or the Women and Girls’ Trust Line at 0 8008 8008 to receive consultations and referrals to free and confidential support services. In case of immediate danger, call 112.
